To determine whether I am one who conciliates I browsed a few dictionaries on our library shelves. Here is the definition that I was remembering when my neighbor used the description.
- To overcome the distrust or animosity of; appease.
- To regain or try to regain (friendship or goodwill) by pleasant behavior.
- To make or attempt to make compatible; reconcile.
I do make it a point to listen to the person who is angry. I get angry when a problem arises that could have been avoided. After the anger, I move to "fix-it" mode. What good is continuing to talk about the problem when time would be better spent acquiring a solution? In that effort, I normally suggest a possible resolution. My suggestion might not be the best, but I have noticed that when one person brings forth an idea others will follow with suggestions of their own.
Do I also delineate what the other party has done well? Yes. Is that conciliation or appeasement? Maybe. I prefer my adversaries to not be so defensive that it clouds rational thinking. That is my goal in being conciliatory.
Still, it stings to be called that. I feel less tough. Or do I?