Sunday, October 22, 2006

In the Moment

At lunch yesterday I watched my eldest daughter tease my son playfully. I smiled at the ease between these two.

Tears began to form as I thought deeper about that moment, those two personalities, and how my father wouldn't have time with my baby boy. I found the strength to stop that musing and the tears that threatened.

In that moment I found a philosophy I must follow: I must live on the surface and in the moment to beat away my grief. I will always be sad that I have lost a powerful force in my life, but I cannot always be sad. I cannot wallow or revel in the grief. There will be time to dig beneath the surface. However, the moments will be just that. Snapshots of life for me to cherish and remember.

1 comment:

Anne said...

My father died when I was first dating my husband, so they never met and it follows that Dad never met my children. I try to talk to them about Dad, much as we do with their other three grandparents who live far away. They know grandfather was a pharmacist just like grandmother and lots of other stories. I think he lives through them.