At lunch yesterday I watched my eldest daughter tease my son playfully. I smiled at the ease between these two.
Tears began to form as I thought deeper about that moment, those two personalities, and how my father wouldn't have time with my baby boy. I found the strength to stop that musing and the tears that threatened.
In that moment I found a philosophy I must follow: I must live on the surface and in the moment to beat away my grief. I will always be sad that I have lost a powerful force in my life, but I cannot always be sad. I cannot wallow or revel in the grief. There will be time to dig beneath the surface. However, the moments will be just that. Snapshots of life for me to cherish and remember.