A few days ago I changed the picture of my father that I keep on the sidebar. The first one of him sitting on his front porch with his poodle last Halloween wasn't being sized correctly, and I wanted to show a different side of him.
I'm glad I changed it. He was so thrilled about his first grandchild. He loved her deeply. You should all remember him having a good time with the children in his life. My cousins and their spouses were pretty much his children as well. He treated them that way--with lots of love.
However, I'm also deeply saddened each time I view the blog to make sure the page elements are correct. I see him so happy with my first daughter and cry. The voice in my head says, How can he be gone?
I cry less often than I did before. Yet, I don't mourn his loss any less. I don't miss him any less. I still reach for the phone to tell him a story. I still want him back in our lives.